I'm sitting at my new creche, which is located on a slight hill on one of the edges of the township. It provides quite a view of the sprawl of tin roofs. It's raining and I am watching all the laundry the neighbor ladies spent the morning hanging as it becomes wet again. The bright colors of the clothing are pretty on the grey sky. All the children are finally really sleeping and not just pretending, so I left them to go sit outside and wait for my ride back to the property. But now I am inside because of the rain. I am inside, looking out, listening to the rain on the tin roof and thinking about how much there is to tell you. Much has happened since we returned from Zanzibar.
I realize I haven't told you anything about the Babies' Home. I worked in the Babies' Home for the month the creches were closed (December). I am so glad I had the opportunity to get to know this group of kids. When I first began work at the BH I found it to be quite frustrating and challenging in very new and different ways than the creche work. When I began there were nine children between the ages of 2 and 4, and three newborn babies. Let me quickly introduce you to the cast, then I will get back to the challenges.
Rudzanni: 2 years old, girl
Lesedi, 2 years old, girl
Samkelo, nearly 3 years old, girl
Karabo, nearly 3 years old, boy
Larato, nearly 4 years old, girl
Mthobisi, 4 years old, boy
Khanysa, 4 years old, boy
Zizi, 4 years old, girl
Thembe, nearly 5 years old, girl
Caroline, 4 months
Snokolo, 4 months
Mbali, 3 months
(all girls)
As I was saying, after being in the creche, the BH was very different. There were a few key things that struck me right away. First, and most obvious, the children all speak perfect English. After a month of communicating with sounds, expressions and body language, it blew me away to have little (like tiny) four year old Khanysa come up to me and say complete sentences like, "You must jump on the trampoline with me now." This wasn't a challenge, but was a very interesting contrast.
I must admit, that I assumed discipline would be simpler with English speaking children. I couldn't have been more mistaken. This brings me to the first real challenge I faced at the BH-- the kids were not so good, like the children in the creche had been. In my first couple of days I could not believe how many times I heard the word 'no.'
I think when I first began working at the BH I was a little put off by the kids. They seemed spoiled to me. I was coming from working in the township, where the kids live in shacks and are dirty and snotty and don’t have a lot of clothes or toys or things. The kids at my crèche had all been so loving and exuberant—so eager to learn and do whatever we were teaching them. At the Babies’ Home the kids have everything they ‘need.’ Through donations they have lots of clothes, food and toys. They live in a clean home with hot water, electricity and three balanced meals fed to them each day. And they were constantly telling me ‘no’, what they wanted or didn’t want in whiny voices, etc. It was a little disheartening at first.
Soon I began to learn a lot more about this group of kids. One thing that is pretty obvious, but was hard for me to focus on in the beginning because of the struggles I was having with the kids, is that they by no meaning have everything they need. Most of the kids in the BH have lived there their entire lives. They have never had a family structure. They have never had parents. They depend on rotating caregivers and volunteers who are constantly abandoning them, once they’ve worked for the agreed upon months. This results in somewhat of an inability to form normal, trusting relationships with the adults in their lives. Even though the caregivers and volunteers show them a lot of love, the kids have no guarantee that any one person will be there tomorrow, or the next day, much less ‘forever,’ which is a perhaps false sense of security, but still a sense of security most of us who grew up with families depended upon.
I learned that the kids were testing me in the beginning. After all, I was just some new volunteer. They’ve seen tons. They’ve been told what to do by volunteers in the past, formed relationships and then lost these people. You can see why they would become skeptical. It really didn’t take long to win them over however. They are kids, after all, and after a week or so of playing with them all day long, every day, they began to trust and love. I also realized that some of the behavioral problems are due to the lack of an absolute standard for behavior and discipline. Every caregiver and volunteer has a different idea of what’s right. I quickly began to see how confusing it must be for the kids to really learn how they should be behaving.
The other major challenge the kids in the BH face is that half of them are HIV+. They are too young to understand just what this means, but the ones who are sick, know they are sick with something, that they must take medicine every night, and make frequent trips to the doctor. A couple of the kids have other health complications due to HIV.
Once I settled into my role in the Babies’ Home, I began to really see the individual personalities in the kids. Khanysa is a four year old boy who is so extremely intelligent and verbal, it really blows my mind. He always has something clever to say, and a million well thought out questions for everyone. He is very serious as he questions you, furrowing his brow and making demands. He is also so quick to laugh if you joke with him. He understands humor that most kids miss. He teases you back. He is also one of the most sensitive boys I have ever met. The other morning we were watching “Barbie’s Nutcracker.” At the end of the movie the nutcracker turns into a prince and Barbie is transformed into a princess. They begin to dance. Little Khanysa was cuddling with me on the couch and suddenly sat up, looked at me very seriously, with damp eyes and said, “Sylvie, the tears are coming.” I was so touched by both the humor of the situation and the sweet sensitivity of such a small, intelligent child. “That’s ok sweet boy,” I told him, “it’s okay to cry.” He laid back down and cried into my chest as the movie ended.
I will write more to you about all of the children. They are all so unique and brilliant.
Just wanted to give you a bit of an update. More to follow on other travels and work in my new crèche!
Love love love
Sylvie
Photo: Khanysa at the pool.
